Have you ever listened to the pharmaceutical adverts on TV? As the soothing voice says
“Absolv, when taken immediately after upsetting your partner can bring on feelings of contriteness that a puppy would envy. Clinical studies have shown that 77% of users of Absolv are forgiven for extreme transgressions including not sharing with housework, coming home drunk, forgetting an anniversary … etc.”
Then as the voice-over fades and the images of couples hugging fill the screen, the rapid-fire disclaimer-voice kicks in
“Absolv has been linked to murder, child molestation, kidnapping, graffiti, flatulence and Turrets Syndrome. If you are healthy and have a conscience you should not take Absolv.”
We need the same disclaimer voice for the opinions that people swallow as truth. After someone states an opinion “Well I think that the government is blah, blah, blah, and that the minister (Congressman), blah, blah, blah, because he was guilty of blah, blah, blah.” We should have a recording come on like the drug commercials. In the same rapid-fire drug commercial disclaimer-voice it would say,
“The stream of consciousness you are hearing is based on conjecture, hearsay, and the utterances or writings of other individuals who may have a personal or political agenda in having people accept this position. The speaker is speaking with an authority he does not possess; in fact he has no evidence whatsoever to back up what he’s saying, and he is unwilling to even consider that his statements could be even slightly off the mark. You should challenge the viewpoints you are hearing or at least have the speaker acknowledge that he is merely stating his opinion.”
People would probably ignore them in the same way that they ignore warnings that smoking causes lung cancer or that taking a particular drug might cause their penis to fall off, but it would at least be fair disclosure. Plus it would be kind of funny. Imagine the guy looking around for where the opinion disclaimer-voice is coming from.
You Are Entitled to Your Opinion – but Keep it Leashed
Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but not to let them roam free, unmuzzled and with not even a dog tag to let people know to whom this pit-bull belongs. Opinions become very dangerous indeed when trotted out as if they were based on truth, and not on the spurious assumptions that they usually stand upon.
Because people tend to state an opinion as if it were based on clear research and evaluation rather than the assumption that what they heard or read somewhere is true, opinions are only a step below gossip in their destructive power.
Instead of being clear that their utterances are merely their version of what they have heard others say, or how things appear to them at the time, people state opinions as the truth and implicitly link their reputations to their publicly stated opinions; making it very difficult for them to admit their mistake. In their minds a lot is at stake with the “truth” of their opinions, and they will go to great lengths to defend their opinions (reputation); even denying or attacking the facts as they come to light.
The fact is when you share opinions without regard for how they may influence the thoughts and actions of others, and without acknowledging that they are just your opinions; then you are engaging in a form of gossip.
The fact is most people share their opinions with the intention to convert the opinions of others to their ‘side’ and hence win advocates for their world view. That their world view may only be part of the truth or completely inaccurate is never considered or discussed.
The fact is that our children are not taught the meanings and consequences of assuming, assessing, opining, and gossiping. Instead they are taught to accept authority and to value knowing the ‘right’ answers rather than developing the skill of asking good questions.
- Is this true or not?
- How can I know if it is?
- How does the speaker know it is true or not?
- Can I trust the speaker?
- What secret agendas might the speaker have that might make me question what s/he has to say?
Why do we opine?
There are payoffs to sharing your opinion and especially to having it accepted. The payoffs are as follows:
- You don’t have to do any work.
- You are regarded as intelligent, well-informed, decisive etc.
- You get to be right.
High social payoffs indeed. I expect not having to do the work of researching the many different angles of any story or situation is the biggest selling point of opining. It’s so much easier to just repeat the viewpoints of others or use the first plausible explanation that fits with your pre-existing world view, than to do all that reading and questioning. Plus there’s no risk of having to acknowledge that your world view may be flawed.
And with so few people willing or able to challenge opiners, s/he can sound like an expert by simply asserting her opinions. Indeed, with the right tone of voice and attitude your opinions can land for other people like the summary of a well researched paper, or the revelations of someone in the “know,” someone on the “inside”.
In particular, the human need to be right is a tremendously powerful motivator to opine. We will end relationships or even kill rather than admit that we were wrong. This at least partly explains why opiners take personal insult at any questioning that might imply the weakness or unsupportability of their position. Offense is taken, tempers flare, more opinions are formed and relationships are impaired or broken.
Worse, everybody agrees and some poor soul is lynched in the court of public opinion, or an unfair or costly decision is taken.
Conclusion and Some Questions For You?
There is nothing inherently wrong with having an opinion, only in sharing it with others as if it is an assessment i.e. a position taken based on careful observation and evaluation of the relevant facts; a position that can be defended by an appeal to facts, and logical reasoning.
Unfortunately, masquerading opinions as assessments is a commonly accepted bad and even destructive habit. It is destructive in that people base their thoughts and actions on what they believe is true. Lazy habits of evaluating and seeking truth inevitably lead to pain and suffering and passing opinions off as the truth and accepting them without challenge are lazy habits of evaluating and seeking truth.
Here are some questions you can begin asking to curb any bad opinion-sharing or opinion-accepting habits:
- Are you guilty of unqualified opinion sharing?
- Are you guilty of not challenging the opinions of others, particularly your friends and teachers?
- What positions do you take that are only your opinions; that are based on assumptions?
- Are you open to your opinions being inaccurate or misleading?
- Are you willing to do the work, to make an assessment vs. sharing an opinion?
- Yes? Bravo!
- No?Nothing wrong there. But will you at least be open to considering that your opinion may be completely wrong?
- Will you share your opinion as just that: your opinion, and not pretend that you know it to be true?
Please. In a sea of arrogance, such honesty is refreshingly admirable, and even courageous.
Hello Peter,
I quite agree with you and living with someone who thinks that his opinion is the only right one, I had the chance to ask myself questions and come to the understanding that some opinions may be right in some situation and that some other are just a way of seeing things. Demagogy is a very dangerous way of influencing people and forwarding mails with tendencious images and speeches is also another one! If you know what I mean…
Unfortunately, men generally like to believe the worst and trying to see thing into perspective does not always gain you anything but of being always controversial.
A pity such a article as yours does not probably reach the persons it should. But if only a few think a bit longer before repeating what they heard…. you´ll have gain something.
bye